You gotta understand that some people never really grow. They never learn their lesson. They never recognise their mistakes, they never acknowledge their faults, they never admit they were in the wrong. You will never receive an apology from them, and you will never see their behaviour change.

if you’re in the notes saying “this is wrong and cruel because everyone is capable of growth” you’re not understanding the post.

yes, everyone is CAPABLE of growth and change. everyone has the RIGHT to growth and change. but no, not everyone will CHOOSE growth and change. some people are not interested in and cannot be made interested in self-improvement or self-reflection. some people will go their entire lives refusing to admit they might be wrong or examine their own behaviors. some people will never, ever accept responsibility for the effects they have on people and the world around them. humans are varied; some are just always gonna be like this.

it is VITAL to understand this if you’re the kind of person who tends to pour energy into helping others, especially if there are already people knowingly hurting you who consistently show absolutely no interest in changing that behavior. you can’t forcibly make them want to change who they are. you aren’t going to find a way to convince them to suddenly care that their behavior is hurting someone.

the motivation to change and grow comes from within. others may inspire us, but WE have to decide we want to be better and work towards that. until they decide that for themselves, nobody else can do it for them. and they might never. people are mortal. we are a finite series of choices. it is entirely possible to make mostly selfish ones.

everyone CAN grow, but not everyone will. not everyone wants to, and nobody can force the desire to grow as a person on someone else.

discourse about redemption arcs would vastly improve if instead of always asking “is this character redeemable?” people started asking “what message would it send to redeem this character?” and “would it be logical or satisfying on a narrative level to redeem this character?”

also i am begging people to realise that redemption is not the only possible kind of development for a villain. they can progress without it being a positive change. it's so boring and restrictive when the only reaction to a new bad guy is debating “will they be redeemed or not?”

remember to breathe

To anyone who is feeling sad or anxious about the deadly virus going around or the indefinite break in taking college classes at your university as a necessary precaution, here is a video of my idiot cat

apparently, I joined this tumblr place at 05/16/2010 5:11:08 PM.

build a bear axolotl…… ♡︎(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

On one of the last days of my anaesthesia rotation this year, we had a 10-year-old kiddo with quadriplegic cerebral palsy and lots of anxiety. He was a super intelligent, pleasant kid, who was understandably very scared of getting an IV–he was known to be a relatively “difficult poke”, so most of the IVs he had in his life required multiple attempts. For his history and current conditions, we felt a total intravenous anaesthetic (TIVA) would benefit him, but unfortunately we were not able to get the IV in on the first attempt. He became extremely stressed and we negotiated one more attempt for him to hopefully spare him from previous side effects he’d experienced with the inhaled anaesthetics, but unfortunately that attempt was also unsuccessful. 

We were quick to reassure him that there would be no third attempt while he was awake, and the entire time we got him prepared for his inhalational induction he was apologizing for getting upset.

“I’m so sorry that I was so upset,” he said. “I know you were just trying to do what was best for me, and that you just want to take care of me. But I really, really hate needles, and I know when I get stressed out my veins are even harder to find, and that really sucks.”

“It really does, buddy,” I told him. “But I want you to know it was not your fault for getting upset! You are always, always allowed to get upset. The most important thing is that you were so incredibly brave–even though you were stressed and upset, you did your very best to let us take care of you. Unfortunately today your veins didn’t cooperate with us, but you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t have to be sorry for feeling the way you feel.”

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, well, I’m sorry for shouting. I didn’t need to shout, even if I was upset.”

“You know what, my friend? Sometimes we just gotta shout it out. You’re right, we shouldn’t shout at people because it can hurt their feelings. But I promise no one’s feelings were hurt today, we were just sad that you were upset by the needles. That’s why we said two tries only, right?”

“Right.”

He sniffled a bit and wiped at his face. I let him pick a scent for his mask (we use a drop or so of essential oil inside the face mask so it smells like oranges or strawberries or watermelon–it’s actually kind of neat!).

“Are you ready to go to sleep now?”

“Yeah. I know you guys will take care of me.”

—–

That day, I learned a lot about patient-centred care from this little gentleman. I also learned a lot about emotional regulation and how our emotions can affect others when we externalize or internalize them. I learned how our emotions can be recognized and how we can take responsibility for our emotion-driven actions, and how we can still prioritize kindness even when we’re upset and overwhelmed.

No matter how much experience or education we may have, we will always have something to learn. My favourite teachers are usually my patients. Even if the lessons they have to teach me may be a little hard to swallow at times, they teach with such purity and general adorableness that these are lessons for my heart and soul as much as they are for my brain.

Thank you to all of my little (and okay, fine, sometimes not-so-little, when they’re adolescents and taller than I am…) teachers <3

This kind of attitude towards your patients is absolutely vital to maintaining joy in your practice.

hey so, as a man who works with other men, here’s a quick relationship tip: if he doesn’t much like cats, that might be just a personal preference. if he hates cats, if he tells you he hates cats as soon as he hears that you have a cat and love your cat, he’s an asshole. he’s telling on himself.  

every guy i’ve ever worked with that makes a point of telling me how much he hates cats as soon as i mention that i have a cat and love my cat, is always someone who is regularly cruel for fun and who laughs in the breakroom about the mean things they do for fun to their girlfriends and children. 

I wish I could articulate all the ways this makes sense and why it makes sense and stuff but it’s just like… something something misogyny something something resentment of creatures that don’t need you and don’t hang on your attention and approval all their lives.

My dad gave me this exact same advice when I was a kid. “Anyone who hates cats is a control freak and an asshole.”

Source

Dogs teach about unconditional love. Cats also will love you, but cats teach about boundaries and consent. Kids should be raised with both.